Archive for category Top 100 Democrat Jokes

Top 100 Democrat Jokes

1.   Did you hear how the “yes we can” slogan came to be? Well a reporter asked Obama, can you fool the nation in thinking your a moderate, Obama answered, “Yes we Can.” Another reporter asked, can you convince all the reporters to ignore your association with known terrorists? “Yes we can!”. Another reporter asked can you nationalize the banks? “Yes we can”.

2. How many democrats does it take to change a burned out lightbulbs? None, democrats believe the bulb can’t change if its not a CFL.

3. Why was Obama so mad when he heard about the AIG bonuses? Because so many at AIG got a larger bonus from AIG than he did.

4. How does Obama win the war on terror? He renames it!  Its now the overseas contingency operation.

5. Did you hear about the reporter who asked Obama a hard question? Neither have we!

6. Actually there was a reporter who asked Obama a really hard question. The question was, does he want his water plain or with a slice of lemon.

7.  How many democrats does it take to change a light bulb?  5! Al Gore to insure it’s a CFL, and EPA agent in case the blub breaks and a mercury cleanup is necessary, a person to bail out the home owner, an ACORN member to insure that the right person changed the bulb, and a member of the media to celebrate the change.

8. How can a person get bailed out by Obama? Is it by 1. being a member of ACORN, 2. contribuiting to the campain funds of the democrats, 3. being irresponsible, 4. supporting liberal anti American causes, 5. all of the above?  The answer is all of the above.

9. What does CNN stand for? Communist News Network.

10. What does ABC stand for? All oBama Channel.

11. What does NBC stand for? Now OBama Channel.

12. Whats the difference between God and Obama? God doesn’t think He’s Obama.

13. Why won’t Obama release his birth certificat? He hasn’t decided where he was born.

14. The good news about Obamas inauguration was that of the two million people who showed up, only 10 of them had to call off work.

15. Whats the difference between Karl Marx and Obama? Nobody knows.

16. Why won’t obama have a turkey for Thanksgiving? Because Vice President Biden will be out of town.

17. Why will Obama get a new puppy for the White House? Joe Biden is getting on in years.

18. How can you tell a Conservative home owner apart from a Democratic home owner? Ask who is paying the Mortgage. The Conservative will point to himself, and the democrat will also point at the conservative.

19. Democrats and liberals always say they are smarter than conservatives. If that is true, then why do democrats always have problems in filling out a ballot.

20. How many democrats does it take to cast a single vote? 3! The democrat to cast the vote, the lawyer to make sure they did it right, and a party leader to tell them how to vote.

21. How do you scare a democrat? Have them cast a vote without a lawyer to show them how to fill out the ballot.

22. What happens when a democrat votes? Two votes are cast, and a lawyer is employed.

23. Why do democrats like illegal immigrants? They vote for democrats.

24. What do Obama and financial scam artist have in common? They both say “yes we can”, they both give hope, they both take your money, they both will leave you penny-less in the end.

 25. What do you call a gathering of terrorists, financial scam artists, tax dodgers, and sexual preditors? A democratic convention.

26. How do you scare a democrat? Say your a gainfully employed church going family man.

27. How do you know when a democrat is lying? When his mouth is moving.  

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